What are you Selfish About

I consider myself to be a very generous person about almost everything. I offer up my things all of the time, sometimes to my detriment to be used by others. Last summer, I allowed the Jr. Exhibitor who was showing Bobby to use my beloved Les Vogt bit. I was happy to do so! At horse shows, I'm the first one to offer up spurs, hats, gloves, goop, and tack! I've allowed roommates in college to use my car, I gave my grandma a set of bangles that I had just purchased because she liked them; sadly so did I, but I loved the smile that spread over her face when I handed them over. I do miss them, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I will happily go without for the benefit of others, I don't know why, it's just my nature. Other examples include me giving my clothing that I still wear, to a friend who is incredibly frugal. The last time she came to visit, I found myself deep in my closet, digging out shirts, shorts and shoes that I thought would look good on her, stuff from BCBG, J CREW, and Express. Of course, I was a half a bottle deep in wine, but still...I felt satisfied with my donations...I also allowed my good friend Kerri to "borrow" my Kate Spade bag...indefinitely. Why? I have no idea, other than I like to make people happy. I do have some small regrets about the Kate Spade bag, but to be honest, I don't think I'd use it again (it started kind of falling apart a year after getting it, wtf?!?) Also, my mom now owns my leather Coach purse - a gift to me, from her, and then right on back to her when I was through with it!

There is one thing, though, that I guard. I am incredibly selfish with it, I will bite the hand that tries to take it from me. I have always been this way, I don't know why. It's just my nature.

I am embarrassed to say that I am food selfish.

I don't share food. I take more than my fair share, I don't like to feel like I want more of something but can't take it because others want more too. I will take the last biscuit in the batch, french fry in the bag, candy in the jar and pop from the fridge and not bat an eye. I'm evil, selfish and piggy with food. I cannot for the life of me, help it!

My latest stint with the green eyed food monster came this week. Actually, it began innocently enough on Tuesday morning. On my way to work, I stopped of at D&W to buy some food for work. I grabbed some Mac & Cheese, fresh fruit, a smoothie and on my way through the checkout, I grabbed a bag of Easter Candy. Butterfinger Chocolate Eggs, to be exact. I had the idea to place the candies in a jar on top of my desk, to share with customers as well as coworkers...the same as they'd do. To further make the case against myself, I'd like to add that K, my boss, is always coming into the office to share bags of Chips, Cookies, Cinnamon Rolls, etc...always! I always partake. So anyway, back to the story at hand.

 I poured the bag of candies into my jar and didn't really think too much more about it; that is, I didn't think much about it until another coworker came in to my office and snagged more than one candy at a time (the horror). I felt a familiar pang spring to life in my gut, but I forced it aside with a smile, telling my coworker to "help yourself."

Throughout the day, several other coworkers came in for their chocolate fix, it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. The candy jar remained mostly full when I left for home in the afternoon. It did occur to me, though, that the cat was out of the bag. People knew where there was chocolate...ridiculous, but true....this is something that actually occurred to me. Like I had precious gems out for the taking or something, instead of a bag of $3.00 chocolates...oh boy. I'm tellin' ya, nobody better be laying a finger on MY butterfinger! heh heh heh.

Now, here's where it gets...worse. This morning, actually, just about 20 minutes ago, I was happily tap tap tapping away on a spreadsheet for work. "I'm getting hungry," I thought to myself, as I glanced up at my beautiful candy jar filled with delicious chocolate candy.

"What the...." I grabbed the jar in my fist and turned it ever so slightly to gain a better vantage point. The jar was almost empty. Only a few measly pieces of chocolate remained. "PIGS!" I grumbled, as I forced the too large jar into my filing cabinet. I sat at my desk for a few minutes, silently berating myself for acting like such a selfish brat, but then I came to the conclusion that I would blog about it instead of putting the jar back out for my chocolate fiending (but generous) coworkers to polish off. Oh but I'm awful!

Why am I so food selfish? I've never gone without food, I'm NOT starving by any means, I'm not gluttonous per-se...it just bugs me when people take food from me. I cain't stop myself!

I need to work on this!

So, now I'm curious. Everybody has to be selfish about one thing. My husband, for instance, doesn't like sharing his electronics. I think he worries that they'll be damaged, actually, I did drop a laptop of his once, woops. What are you selfish about? C'mon...I won't bite...that is, as long as you be leaving my food alone! LOL