I hope everyone is having a great summer! My summer has been nice enough, I'm lovin' the heat, but I think if I were in Texas or Arizona or somewhere in the humid south, my tune would be different. Michigan weather has shifted recently from 90's to high 70's low 80's, but the skeeters and flies are out with a vengeance!
Sigh, now I blog about the weather.
I've been a naughty blogger this summer, but once this baby is born and I can get back into my horse hobby, I'll pipe back up.
A few things have changed this summer, aside from my impending baby girl (September 20th).
Over the past few months, I've felt less and less inclined to have J in my life. I've known her since I was 13, and during all of those years, I can't remember her really ever being there for me. I mean, she gave me riding lessons that my parent's paid for. Since selling my last horse, Shaker, I've been allowed to ride her horses at my leisure, however I've also done hay, cleaned countless stalls, done chores once a week, watered, cleaned buckets, cobwebbed stalls and many other things for FREE. I actually PAID her to ride her horses at horse shows for several years (so she could get them seen and sold). Mostly, I'd say it's been me being there for her, though I'm sure she'd disagree. (Can you just feel the resentment brewing in me)?
Years of hours long, one sided phone conversations. Her problems. Her issues. Her aches. Her pains. Her not doing much to resolve her issues. Me offering advice and my heart breaking for her countless times have come to a culmination. Honestly, I just don't have it in me to listen anymore. Isn't that awful? She's done some awful things over the years. Thinking back on them, I feel angry and stupid...why have I stuck by her? I wish I could elaborate more, but I don't know how to make this post private only for some readers. It would not be right for the world to read any more of my thoughts on the matter. Especially when she wouldn't be around to defend herself. I guess to get right down to the point; as cruel as this really does sound, my relationship with J has so much less to do with horses and so much more to do with me being a crutch or sounding board for her. That's how I feel, be it true or not.
Anyway, to get to the point. LOL. I've stopped going to her barn. I quit cold turkey and I've been avoiding her phone calls. Oh, how I do miss Gypsy, Bobby and the rest of the horses. I do plan on keeping up a relationship with her, because in all honesty, I do care about her. I just don't want her relying on my help once a week. It's too much. I also do plan on getting back into horses and showing once the baby's born, however I do not plan on using J. I feel so awful, but I need a change and a chance to fall back in love with horses and horse showing....I feel it in me, it's just not surfaced yet and hasn't for a year or so.
Anyway, my mom has been riding her Lady horse quite a bit this summer. She has had a young girl out to ride on a few occasions. My mom is so sweet. This young girl LOVES horses, but she's never really had the chance to be around them. My mom offered to give her lessons because she knows how it feels to have such a strong passion yet no means to pursue. Horses cost money, lots and lots of money, as we all know, and this girl is only a Junior in college. That, if you don't already know, = poor. :(
Below is a pic. of Lady and her new buddy.
