I've had the same group of friends since High School. "The Girls" and I never, ever bicker or fight. We lived together in college, partied, cried and laughed together. Somehow we survived living in a huge, dilapidated old Victorian with 8 girls (and one boy shoved in the basement for good measure). There were some spats that year, but the main group of us 4 girls, always stuck together.
One of my friends, has become kind of harder to deal with as of late. It's a long story, and it doesn't need to be aired out here, but just have trust in me when I say it's been strained but not in a typical way. Just small things here and there that have building up.
Over the weekend, a group of my friends, myself and our man-beasts went on a ski vacation to Crystal Mountain. This friend (I'll call her BB for now) and I got into a spat on the last night of our mini-cation. Without getting too much into the drama; BB has been struggling with a few things the past week. Her sibling was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and she's battling a viscious cold. After a long day of skiing, we all delved into wine with gusto as several if us piled around a roaring fire and reminisced about college. Later on, as more alcohol was consumed, I noticed that BB was becoming more and more agitated. She turned red and began really sassing and becoming more aggressive with some of the group members. At some point, I noticed her gesturing silently towards me. She was mouthing something that took me a few minutes to discern. When I finally realized what she was trying to say, I felt myself grow very uncomfortable. At some point, BB had come up with a preposterous idea that involved 3 other people in our group. She was super fired up about it, and I could see that she was just about to start sassing it up with the "involved" parties in her conspiracy theory. This idea would definitely have embarrassed if not hurt the others, so I made the snap decision to tell her quite bluntly that she had had too much to drink, that she was tired and was being mean. I also told her to go to bed - like she was a child I guess.
The next morning, I was totally over it, I knew that it was minor, and truthfully, I felt that she needed to come down apologizing. Of course, nobody really knew the details of why we got into that little tiff, but I did. Nobody was angry with her at all - I just think that she was being really rude, but of course, I love her very much - she has been a close friend to me for years, and I would never think about ending a friendship over something so trite and silly. Well, I think BB thinks differently. She came downstairs the next day, hours after everyone had already been up. She sat in the corner, brooding, not speaking to anyone. I felt quite uncomfortable, but I knew I had to say something to her before we all parted. I went up to her, forced a hug on her and apologized (even though I wasn't really sorry). I told her that I understood that she was angry and that we would talk later. I also told her I loved her and that it would be silly to end our friendship over something so minor. She gave me a FUCK OFF kind of a look and that was that. I guess time will tell on this one.
The only thing I would have done differently is perhaps approached it more gently. I think though, that she was at the point of being too tired, too liquored up and too grumpy to have listened to anything but my blunt approach. I feel terrible that had to happen -my friends and I rarely if ever fight or bicker.
Since this has happened though, I don't know - I just don't feel like groveling to her. I truly feel that she behaved inappropriately. She is definitely not a forgive and forget type, so if I want to continue this friendship, it's up to me to crawl back to her apologizing. I won't do it! so we'll see how this ends. I do love her, and I hope that she is okay - if she calls me years from now, needing me, I'd be there for her - no questions no hard feelings; I'd like to think she'd do the same.
So, anyway, that's what's been on my mind the past few days. I hope to get some fun pics of the ski weekend up soon - aside from the drama drama - it was an absolute blast!
as BB would say -
BEAR HUG, grrrrrr - to you all!
One of my friends, has become kind of harder to deal with as of late. It's a long story, and it doesn't need to be aired out here, but just have trust in me when I say it's been strained but not in a typical way. Just small things here and there that have building up.
Over the weekend, a group of my friends, myself and our man-beasts went on a ski vacation to Crystal Mountain. This friend (I'll call her BB for now) and I got into a spat on the last night of our mini-cation. Without getting too much into the drama; BB has been struggling with a few things the past week. Her sibling was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and she's battling a viscious cold. After a long day of skiing, we all delved into wine with gusto as several if us piled around a roaring fire and reminisced about college. Later on, as more alcohol was consumed, I noticed that BB was becoming more and more agitated. She turned red and began really sassing and becoming more aggressive with some of the group members. At some point, I noticed her gesturing silently towards me. She was mouthing something that took me a few minutes to discern. When I finally realized what she was trying to say, I felt myself grow very uncomfortable. At some point, BB had come up with a preposterous idea that involved 3 other people in our group. She was super fired up about it, and I could see that she was just about to start sassing it up with the "involved" parties in her conspiracy theory. This idea would definitely have embarrassed if not hurt the others, so I made the snap decision to tell her quite bluntly that she had had too much to drink, that she was tired and was being mean. I also told her to go to bed - like she was a child I guess.
The next morning, I was totally over it, I knew that it was minor, and truthfully, I felt that she needed to come down apologizing. Of course, nobody really knew the details of why we got into that little tiff, but I did. Nobody was angry with her at all - I just think that she was being really rude, but of course, I love her very much - she has been a close friend to me for years, and I would never think about ending a friendship over something so trite and silly. Well, I think BB thinks differently. She came downstairs the next day, hours after everyone had already been up. She sat in the corner, brooding, not speaking to anyone. I felt quite uncomfortable, but I knew I had to say something to her before we all parted. I went up to her, forced a hug on her and apologized (even though I wasn't really sorry). I told her that I understood that she was angry and that we would talk later. I also told her I loved her and that it would be silly to end our friendship over something so minor. She gave me a FUCK OFF kind of a look and that was that. I guess time will tell on this one.
The only thing I would have done differently is perhaps approached it more gently. I think though, that she was at the point of being too tired, too liquored up and too grumpy to have listened to anything but my blunt approach. I feel terrible that had to happen -my friends and I rarely if ever fight or bicker.
Since this has happened though, I don't know - I just don't feel like groveling to her. I truly feel that she behaved inappropriately. She is definitely not a forgive and forget type, so if I want to continue this friendship, it's up to me to crawl back to her apologizing. I won't do it! so we'll see how this ends. I do love her, and I hope that she is okay - if she calls me years from now, needing me, I'd be there for her - no questions no hard feelings; I'd like to think she'd do the same.
So, anyway, that's what's been on my mind the past few days. I hope to get some fun pics of the ski weekend up soon - aside from the drama drama - it was an absolute blast!
as BB would say -
BEAR HUG, grrrrrr - to you all!
1 comment:
I hope that BB comes around and apologizes. It's hard for me to apologize to anyone I know !
I have a friend that can be BULL in a Pen MEAN if she doesn't get her way, so I've learned to avoid those type of situations!
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