Horse Experts

This is just an observation on my part, purely observation I say.

I’ve been around horses literally my entire life. As a youngster, I remember being very competitive with my other horse loving friends about who knew more about horses. We’d stage quizzes and bicker back and forth about saddles, bridles, bits and breeds. One day, I mentioned smugly to another horse lovin’ girl I had recently met that my horse had shin splints.

She looked at me funny and quickly pointed out that “horses don’t get shin splints stupid, people get them!”

That moment right there, was when I ceased all of my horse knowledge boasting and bragging – I fell back on simply wanting to learn more and knowing that regardless of what I did and did not know about horses, it did not change the fact that I loved them. I think I was about 12 years old when that happened, and it was very humbling.

I’ve had many moments in everyday life, conversations that go a little like this:

Other Person: “I hear you ride horses. I know how to ride too. What kind of horse do you have?”

ME: “Oh, yeah. I do like to ride and my breed of choice is the Morgan horse, but I started on Quarter Horses.”

Other Person: “Yes, I like Black Stallions. That’s going to be the next breed that I buy.”

I like to refer to the above type as the Horse Expert Bafoons. (The variety of which I once belonged).

Of course then there’s always the smug person at the tack store, Expo, Horse Show or fill in the blank who seems to know everything about equines and needs to make sure you know it too. These people irk me in that they act like they, and only they, are allowed to love or know anything about horses. They condescend and correct constantly – the know it alls!

Of course, there are also the people who anthromorphasize their horse(s). Yes, I do it to an extent too, but I've encountered some real doozies in this department. I have an example for this one. A few years ago, Jill had a Stallion (a black one at that - ha ha)! This stallion, Murphy, was stalled all of the time and due to this became very stall aggressive. He'd charge at anything that walked past his stall - human, gelding, even the occassional mare. He'd stick right by the bars of his stall with his ears flattened and the whites of his eyes shining in the hopes that some unknowing soul would stick their tender fingers into the stall. Poor Murph was a teddy bear outside of the stall, this aggressiveness only occurred whilst he was in the stall which was most of the time. Anyway, of course we had to have one boarder who was convinced the Murphy loved her. "Ohhh, Murphy would never hurt me, she'd announce while depositing apple slices into his feed box. He loves me." uh huh, we'd all think. You see, we all warned her many times that Murphy didn't descriminate. There were signs posted on his stall not to mess with him, but she was convinced that he loved her like the Black loved Alec. In due time and much to my personal satisfaction, Murphy proved that he loved her by biting her plump little fingers as she reached in for a love scratch. Needless to say, that was the end of her ridiculousness. (Murphy was sold thankfully, and lived the rest of his days being turned out, bred and shown by a wonderful woman in the Southwest. RIP Murph.).

Here’s a typical example for me at “my barn” with a Bafoon. Yesterday a woman who had been taking lessons at the barn recently made sure to tell me several times that she’d been riding her entire life. That she had shown 4-H and open. She told me several times as I was saddling up Gypsy, that Gypsy was HER favorite horse at the barn. I’d say, "yes, she’s sweet." and she’d look me in the eye and say “I know” as if I were telling her something she didn’t. I already had a sense that she was one of those, so I entertained her by asking all sorts of questions such as, "what breed did you show as a kid?"

Her reply was, “ohh, Asians mostly.”

Now, perhaps this is going to be another case of the shin splint moment for me, but what the heck is an Asian horse? I asked her that very question and she hesitated for a moment before she replied “oh, Asians are Quarter horse/ Arab mixes."

“Aren’t those Quar-abs” I asked.

I let it go at that so as not to embarrass her (or myself), because I certainly know how that feels.

Ahh, the wonderful world of horses and the people who know them!