Childhood Memories

When I was growing up I played with my Breyers more than my Barbies; I watched "My Little Ponies" religiously on tv *I'm an 80's child*; I preferred to canter, gallop and trot around outside to playing with dolls inside with my prissy friends. I even went as far as teaching the family dog, Tramp, to sit in my rusty old Radio Flyer wagon, while I "hitched" myself up to the handle and drove him around. I attempted the opposite, but, well, that didn't work so well. I also drew pictures of horses on everything, and knew where every horse farm was within a 50 mile radius :). To this day, I can spot a horse trailer on the road from a mile up! I have to focus very hard to keep my eyes on the road while passing them, I have overwhelming urges to see the rig and horses in the rig as I pass, how dangerous is that? But back to my child hood. I collected every horse related item I could find. My Little Ponies, Breyers, Fashion Star Fillies (remember those)? and those felt covered cheap ponies, usually black and white paints.

The other day, I was growing through my old stuff at my parents house, I came across a bin of old toys. I found a few porcelain dolls, but mostly, it was horse toys. The memories came rushing back. I pulled out each Breyer one by one. The smell is what hit me first. Do you know that Breyer smell? It's like plasticy Breyer-y goodness. Even my old 1980's models still smelled that way. Most of my breyers were scratched up, a few had missing limbs - including poor Man o' War. I thought for a moment of selling them on E-bay, but in the end, I carefully laid them back into their shoe box graves and slid them back into the closet from whence they came. I opened another box and discovered my Fashion Star Fillies and a few beat up old My Little Ponies. Those girls had seen better days! Their hair was a mess and they just looked very.....well, loved I guess would be the word. My plan is to move them to my house, but after all that digging and rifling through items, I was hungry. My mom knows that some of those boxes are still sitting there on that basement floor, waiting, waiting, waiting for me to return.

What were some of the toys you enjoyed growing up? Were you a horse crazed Tom boy or more of an inside girly girl?

I think that though I loved playing outside most of the time, I still got girly from time to time. I love Madonna and once in a while I broke out my Barbies and played with them. Overall, I was mostly Tom Boy with a little bit priss mixed in for good measure.

Fashion Star Fillies - I had the bottom left horse and the top right - Huge FYI on that one ;).

A Ride

CONTRO
I know, this has a copyright on it. I own this photo, but had to scim this one from the website because I'm too lazy to scan it :).


Last weekend I did something I haven't done in months.

I rode TWO horses.

On Saturday, I visited my mom's horse Lady. My mom got a new saddle for Christmas, so she was beyond eager to try it out. She got a Fabtron saddle, and though I love me a nice leather saddle, this thing is comfortable. I would love to have one for a schooling/trail saddle one day. Anyway, Lady didn't really get a long ride or anything. We just kind of putzed around the semi-junked out indoor arena at the farm my mom boards at. I'm still wary about Lady. She really is a great horse, but does not hesitate to throw a small buck here and there. I've lunged her a few times, and that horse can REALLY throw down. She bucks, kicks and rears - the whole shebang. Of course that isn't tolerated, but if she really wanted to, she's athletic enough to ditch just about anyone; it a make a me nervous. My mom hops up on her and whoops it up, but I (with all of my years of lessons and training), get nervous. Every time I get on her, this song plays over and over in my head:





He he - when did I become such a coward?

Regardless, I sucked it up and rode and had a great time with my mom and her horse.

On Sunday, I arrived at J's barn and decided to ride Contro. I decided that Bobby was just too out of shape, and didn't feel like messing with the whole lunging thing. I wanted a horse I could just hop right on. Contro is body clipped, so after de-blanketing him and giving his itchy body a nice curry, I tacked up. I rode with a quarter sheet underneath the tack, because well, it's Michigan and January.

I gave Contro a quick lunging (I know) just to loosen his girth a bit (he can get cinchy), and whoooo-weeee - Mr. Contro, the 17 year old Morgan was feeelinggggg good! With a snort and a grunt, he took off - sailing around and around me at an extended trot. Contro is a hot tamale, but is almost always a good boy. He has alot of natural motion up front, and shifts gears, well, like a sports car. He is just amazing! He can be a bit tricky because he is so well trained, that he gets pissy if you try to "ride" him. I know that doesn't make much sense, but really, all you have to do is sit on his back and very softly cue him to what you want him to do. He takes care of the rest. Any other interference and he will balk, back, raise way out of the bridle and/or on some occasions low rears occur. I forget sometimes and try to collect before cantering, but he has none of it. The horse naturally sets his head, and easily goes at whatever pace you want - from slow jog, to full out extended trot. He canters in place or extends to a hand gallop. Just say the word - only do it quietly please :). Because Contro is so particular about his rider's aids, usually only intermediate to advanced riders on put on him. I always enjoy myself with him though, even though he's easy peesy, I always find him challenging; it's like he's too easy. Does that make sense?

My ride on Contro was fine, but J made an appearance shortly after I mounted, and she talked, and talked, and talked so that I wasn't able to ride as long or as much as I wanted. I basically spent the majority of my saddle time circling at a walk and trot as I nodded in response to what J was telling me. Sometimes I love to talk while riding, but other times, I just want to focus on my riding and shut out everything else.

So, finally, a post on riding. It wasn't very exciting, but at least it's something. I hope to have much more to tell soon :).

A Rant

My first Morgan (Turkey) and I ~ Circa 1994 ~ Equestrian Team and the Good old Days!
(Notice I'm wearing a red western bow tie with a saddle seat suit - J wasn't there to correct me of my wrongs)

As I've mentioned before (I think), I travel approximately an hour, one way, to go to the barn I have gone to since I was 12-13. The BO (J) has truly had it hard over the past 10 or so years. All but one of her once many boarders have left, both of her parents died within a year, she lost her job, got hours cut from a second job, her husband had open heart surgery and then was diagnosed with Lung Cancer that had traveled to his Lymph Nodes. Somehow he survived, but is now heavily depressed and on top of that, they have no health insurance. J suffers from severe rheumatoid Arthritis and is also borderline obese-sheeesh! Despite those overwhelming life altering facts in her life, somehow J manages to take very good care of her horses, thank goodness! Oh yeah, and I'm sure you can imagine, she is BROKE and it ain't no joke! I don't know how she hasn't already lost her farm - heart breaking, it is indeed!

J is just miserable, and has taken to complain, almost incessantly, about her circumstances. I dutifully listen, and though I used to get very involved with helping her, now just nod my head in support. It's a long drawn out, personal story, but J doesn't seem to want to make a huge change in her life. Perhaps complaining and venting to me helps her in a way, but one never knows. A huge issue I have had with her over the years is the fact that her horses are priced quite high, and she is so unwilling to lower their prices, that she will never, ever, ever sell any of them. I try and try to show her comparable horses to hers, and their fair prices, but she refuses to make that change. On several occasions she has been forced to take horses to auctions in order to afford the rest of her horses - now how does that make sense? It doesn't. Just lower their prices to good homes, and everyone wins ~ especially the horses!

J's barn and life hasn't always been this way though. When I first started going there, it was full. Full of horses, full of clients, full of workers, dogs and children. It was a wonderful place! Of course it had its' drama as any barn does. Because J is not a very soft person, I think relationships ended poorly, thus giving J a bad reputation in the local horse world. New clients never did show up after the old ones left, and it's been that way at her barn ever since, empty save to 1 boarder and me. People sure can be evil, especially in the horse world. Now, J is no saint, believe you me, she can be just as evil as the next, but I do think she got an unfair shake on this one - I have yet to run into a truly NICE, KIND and GOOD horse trainer - so, it is what it is I guess.

I'm speculating here, but as a witness over the years, it seemed as though many of the riffs at J's barn started because of J's techniques. She's not a complimentor (I know that's not a word). During our lessons, she griped, she criticized, the moaned and groaned, she was darn right negative. Sometimes kids left their lessons in tears, and parents just didn't like that. Parents are coddlers and they wanted their kids coddled....in my opinion, that's so silly - J gave few compliments, but when she did it was the best feeling. That's because when she gave a compliment, you truly deserved it. I can understand that parents never want to see their kids upset, but to me (I am a receiver of many lessons from J), it only did me good. It was good for me to know that not everything I did was perfect every time. It gave me something to work on, and when it was accomplished a great sense of, well, accomplishment. I'm not a parent though, so I'm really just speaking from my own experience of me being a kid and what I took from it.

Anyway, I am truly at my wits end with this. I feel so awful for J's situation, I want her to be happy and successful and I want things to be like they used to. I miss having many wonderful clients at the barn, I miss kids running around, I miss long, sweaty, dusty, frustrating but rewarding lessons with a group of people. I miss laughing in the breezy aisle way of the barn and a cheering section at the shows. I miss being a part of a "barn" family too, and the knowing smile of a barn-mate who can relate to the misery of having to re-try a transition a million times during a lesson. I wish I could pull into the barn's driveway and have to search for a parking spot amongst the 10 other SUV's crammed in there, and the long gossip fests (yes, I miss them too). I want that again someday but I'd also like to become a client of Js once I get a horse, only because of the loyalty I have to her. Do I think I'll have that type of barn atmosphere with J? No. Do I have a right to be happy in horse ownership? Of course. I also know that once I get a horse, those weekly hour long drives to and from J's will become less and less. She's been kind of a naysayer on me getting a horse, and has proposed me to take Bobby to Nationals instead, but that just won't do. I think she knows what I already know - my days at her farm are coming to an end.

Morgans in the Spotlight (Sundays)?

I just love watching these videos. This one in particular is slightly cheese ball, but regardless, I love that this is a Morgan horse and such a great ambassador for the breed. There are tons of videos on Youtube showcasing Eitan and his horses (primarily Compadre).

Enjoy!

A Lady and a Mom

"The horses paw and prance and neigh,
Fillies and colts like kittens play,
And dance and toss their rippled manes.
Shining and soft as silken skeins;..."
~Oliver Wendell Holmes



"Horses and children, I often think, have a lot of the good sense there is in the world."
~Josephine Demott Robinson



"...I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh as that was! My very heart leaped with delight at the sound."
~Nathaniel Hawthorne




"All I pay my psychiatrist is the cost of feed and hay, and he'll listen to me any day."
~Author Unknown




"When I bestride him, I soar, I am a hawk: he trots the air; the earth sings when he touches it; the basest horn of his hoof is more musical than the pipe of Hermes."
~William Shakespeare, Henry V



"Feeling down? Saddle up."
~Author Unknown



"It's a lot like nuts and bolts - if the rider's nuts, the horse bolts!"
~Nicholas Evans



"Ah, steeds, steeds, what steeds! Has the whirlwind a home in your manes? Is there a sensitive ear, alert as a flame, in your every fiber? Hearing the familiar song from above, all in one accord you strain your bronze chests and, hooves barely touching the ground, turn into straight lines cleaving the air, and all inspired by God it rushes on!"
~Nikolai V. Gogol, Dead Souls, 1842,




"He knows when you're happy
He knows when you're comfortable
He knows when you're confident
And he always knows when you have carrots."

~Author Unknown



"Four things greater than all things are, -Women and Horses and Power and War."
~Rudyard Kipling, "The Ballad of the King's Jest"

Blast From the Past

Shaker and I in 1996 or 1997 (can't quite remember)

When I first started blogging, I really didn't think I'd keep up with it. I'm just not that exciting of a writer, and I have a tendency to spend a lot of time typing something, and then deleting it instead of posting it for fear of sounding like a total turd. So, at first I wasn't exactly sure where to go with blogging. I started off by posting some stories of my past with horses. I posted about several horses I had ridden and owned, and more specifically, I posted on several occasions about one horse in particular, Shaker. Really, it was just mindless mushiness about a horse I once owned and sometimes really miss, even now. I have 5 followers, so I'm very happy with blogging. It's fun, and of course receiving comments is always wonderful.

This morning I logged into my e-mail and saw that I had a comment from a reader. I clicked on it and about choked on my coffee. The comment was from none other than the young lady who purchased Shaker (that former horse of mine) from us, you know, way back when I was 17 or 18?! E, the young lady, wrote about how astonished she was to come across my posting (that I had written in June of '09 (titled Turkey and a Dream Horse). She still owns Shaker, and it seems based on her comment, that he is very much loved!

I just feel so thrilled - it's not like I sit around and constantly think about my old horse, but occasionally I come across a picture of him or an old ribbon or something, and the memories come flooding back. According to E, she randomly did a google search of her horses' name, and lo and behold, this blog popped up! I do feel slightly silly as I've mentioned Shaker's name on several blogs (Above level being one of them). I must look like a total weirdo for bringing him up so often, but I really was desperate to know of what came of him. Was he still alive? How were his last years if he wasn't? He was just very special to me, and you know, it just meant alot to hear that he is indeed, alive and kickin' and very much loved by his current owner of 12 years. So, if nothing else, blogging has helped close a wonderful chapter of my life, Mr. Shaker is turning 28 this year ~ he truly is a special horse! Unfortunately I wasn't able to e-mail E back as her e-mail was absent from the comment she left. I responded to her comment with another comment, but who knows if she'll ever see it. I guess time will tell :).

Va-va-videos

I think I've attempted to post a link to this before, but regardless, I'm now actually posting the video. To explain my equitation - the major issue I take with it is my slight chair seat. I haven't really had a hard core equitation lesson since college, so I could always use constructive criticism there :)

Below are 3 videos of Bobby Sox and I. The first two videos posted are just sales videos. Personally, I think the horse looks much better western pleasure. He's quite short strided to be a nice hunter horse, to me he just doesn't cover enough ground...I dunno', what's your take?



Here he is Western Pleasure. Remember, he's a Morgan - they do not peanut push :)



And last is the horrendously dark video footage of Bob and I at a Fun show in 2008. The other two horses in the arena are Sans Snip (30 year old PUSH button AQHA) and an 18-year old former world champion Morgan horse (Abe).

Trolls

Okay, so I admit - I am guilty of "semi-accidental-trolling". I did it (posted an unsolicited comment on someone's blog) one time, and I regret it immensely. In fact, and unfortunately, I was new to blogging, and was reading a fellow horse blogger's blog. Like I usually do when I find a blog that seems interesting, I took the time to go back to past posts that he/she had written. As I was reading, I came across the dreaded political based posting. As I read along, I found myself disagreeing with what the author was saying. I felt myself getting angry, and before I could think - I posted my thoughts on their post in the comment section ~ oh geez! . Without thinking, I voiced my opinion, and didn't think much of it until I received their response. The blog author wrote me back wondering where in the world I had come from, and basically put me in my place. I deserved it! I apologized and slunk away, never to return. I do see that this person is a common friend to many of the blogs I frequent, and I still feel a tinge of guilt each time I see their Blog pop up on the sidebar list. Moral of the story, being an almost Troll is NOT worth it, if you must know. So, as a reformed accidental -Troll, I know that people's judgments can get the better of them sometimes and not to take it personally. But still, I don't want a me to happen to me and because of that, I at least know I'll not be posting a political post on this puppy! Now, on to the digressing and general bad writing........

I've kept a journal since I could write a sentence. My first "diary" was given to me when I was in the 2nd grade, it was a royal blue crushed velvet book, with a silver unicorn etched on the cover. I wrote all sorts of mumbo jumbo in there. Over the years I've filled many books with my thoughts on horses, boys, friends, parents, crushes, hopes and dreams, regret, despair and everything in between. As a naive youngin', I pictured myself as the silent and brooding writer type. I desperately wanted a leather bound journal with the little string to mark pages. I'd sit and think for long moments about something profound to write about, but nothing deeper than how I felt about something petty ever came to me. I just went with it anyway though, and let me just say that it made for some great reading for the future me. The truth is that I'm just not that great of a writer. Sure, I can form enough sentences to create a series of cohesive paragraphs sometimes, but am I great? No. I'm okay with that though, truth is, writing (typing in this case) is a great form of therapy for me. Just typing my random thoughts down allows my mind to streamline my mind, sometimes I'm able to figure out problems in my life by putting finger to keyboard or pen to paper. So now, instead of keeping a journal, it's blogging. I am not a private person at all, so I actually really like the fact that a few people read what I write. I love the fact that I can get advice, support or whatever else through readers...it truly is a step up from the traditional "private" journal of my past.

To conclude, one thing that does bother me, is the thought of nay-sayers or Trolls. There are so many things that I want to type about, but don't for fear of negative comments. As I mentioned above, I trolled - I was a darn Troll! That is so unlike me too!!! If I can Troll, anyone can - it's true! I am a big fat chicken I guess, but I truly hate confrontation, and would rather just go along with my easy going, unoffensive posts than to stir up people. So, with that said, what does everyone else do with regards to "touchy subjects" and the occasional Troll?

6 Little Things

The (mostly) Morgans after a fall show in 2008! 4th horse from the left is a 30 year old AQHA ;) Bobby is the 5th horse from the left!

Since I haven't ridden or done anything uber exciting with horses this winter, I am going to waste a post today on a MeMe. This particular MeMe I picked up off of one of my favorite blogs, Mikael's Mania Arabian Horse Blog( http://risingrainbow.blogspot.com/). In hers she posted 6 things about her with a Horse twist. I thought this might be fun if not challenging in that I don't know that I have 6 things interesting enough to post, so without further ado - here it goes!

1. When I was younger, as in 10-17 I started a Horse Bucket List. I decided that before I died, I wanted to ride as many different styles as I could. Some of the more far fetched wishes are: Ride an Arabian in a Native Costume Class ( I don't know the first thing about that), and Sidesaddle. As I get older, I realize that this list may never be completed. As of now, I've only accomplished some of that list, but I'm surprisingly content with that. I am still determined to learn reining and dressage one day though. Two very different things, huh?

2. My first Morgan was a horse named Turkey Hill Esquire. He was a 15 year old bay gelding with a horrible parrot mouth and vicious stall manners. He charged and lunged, his buck teeth bared each and every time someone entered his stall. It was probably dangerous, but I called his bluff every time. I don't know how I was so brave/stupid back in those days!

3. I have an unreasonable fear of 1-2 year old colts. I don't know why, as I've only ever had issues with fillies, but they make me nervous - so very, very nervous. I deal with my issues and still handle them, but don't think for a minute that I'm not shaking in my boots. I have no problems dealing with full grown stallions who have already learned manners - it's the younger guys that get me - they are still figuring out their boundaries, and I am no good with that.

4. I get star struck when I meet big name trainers, especially in the Morgan world. This one is especially dorky of me, but I can't help it. Recently I met a woman who is quite successful at the Regional and National shows. I am constantly seeing her picture in the Morgan breed magazines, and when I met her at BO's barn, I embarrassingly gushed about how much I loved one of her horses. She's only about a year older than me and it was sort of offsetting when she casually answered with a curt "thanks." Well darn it, I wanted acknowledgement! I know if someone I didn't know approached to tell me how much they liked my horse, I'd be over the top nice right back to them. Hmmph! Guess that just goes to show how "small beans" I am in the whole scheme of things.

5. I always thought I'd marry a guy who was involved with horses in some way, a cowboy, hunter/jumper, polo player, vet or even a jockey. Then I met B, my husband. Try as I might, he fails to see the beauty in a well turned out horse. He thinks a galloping horse in the pasture is barely worth a glance, he doesn't appreciate the differences in each breed, or the skill and training involved with a well trained horse. When I asked him why he didn't find any interest at all in horses, he had the gall to say: "they are just beasts of burden." Well, I never!!!!!!!!!! Last year at an open show, he approached the owner of a black and white paint and excitedly told its owner "wow, your horse looks like a cow." He had no clue that is an insult! I lowered my head in shame, backed him away slowly; all the while profusely apologizing to the horses' owner. She looked shocked! It was quite tragic. Needless to say, though we have many differences, I love the guy and really appreciate that he at least tries to "get" horses and the people who love them.

6. I can't decide if I want to have horses on my property or to always board. Horses on my property would be nice in many ways, no board is the biggest and best. BUT at home horses mean, 24/7 care provided by moi, finding hay, stacking hay, cleaning stalls daily *a can do* and constant worry. Wait, is there a better reason not to board? Hmmm...maybe I'm a born boarder after all.

If anyone reads this, I'd love to read your 6 little things, too!

Pipe Dreams

As I mentioned in my past post, I had a stressful few days. The starting point was the startling news regarding my student loan debt. From there began a 2 day cycle of crying all night = sleepless nights, arguing with my husband and feeling downright icky. Yesterday, I began feeling better and after a few glasses of white wine, all was right with the world! That is until I realized I left my new Kate Spade bag (Christmas present from B) sitting out on my desk at work. Luckily, my bag was waiting patiently for me when I got in this morning, so no harm there.

As I was saying, yesterday I began feeling sort of foolish for my hysterical and dramatic outbursts. B, my husband is upset too, but we both know life could be so, so, so much worse. Anyway, I started thinking - why can't I still get a horse? If I got a weekend job, there's no reason why I can't plop down a little bit of money and pay for board. I've done it in the past, I can do it now! I am fully aware of the financial commitment that comes along with owning a horse, that's what's kept me horseless for so long. But, as my mom would say "it's a sin that I don't have a horse." (that's what she said to my dad many years ago, and it worked for her!).

I contacted the owner of said horse (Addy), and she is still available. I have arranged to go see her in late March or early April, by then I should have enough together to make the purchase and have savings. I plan on getting her insured, I know how darn expensive emergencies are! I can't decide if I want to see her with a trailer in tow, or if I should go sans the trailer and if I like her, plan another trip out. She live approx. 9-hours from me. Decisions, decisions. Perhaps this is a pipe dream that won't pan out anyway, I guess only time will tell ~ wish me luck!

One Very Expensive Degree

College Daze - I'm the far right in the blue hoochie shirt! Glad I had fun!

Things were going so well, so well in fact I kept reminding myself that soon it would change. Life is a series of ups and downs. It's never always happy, and it's never always sad (at least I hope that's the case). Over the past year, I've had many ups and downs. Leaving my steady eddy job in one city, for unemployment in another. I'm in Michigan, mind you. After countless interviews and let downs; mounting debt and barely scraping by, I landed a temporary position utilizing my degree in Technical Writing (don't judge based on my blog please). This job was the crux in my change from bad to good, especially after I was hired on full time as a permanent employee. Soon I started planning my future horse purchase. I paid off mounting credit card debt. My student loans were becoming manageable. B (my husband and I) smiled, laughed and planned our future more often. Life WAS great!

To change the topic for a second to Student Loans. I attended a University for 3 and a half years. Not a fantastic university, but not a bad one. It's average - both in price and status. While in college, any resemblance of brains I may of had in high school (not much at that), completely disappeared. I had student loans, my parents did not help. I lived off of government money for 3 1/2 years . I slept late, partied, went to school of course, but of work and money earning, I did little. After graduation, I began working - I put most of my loans on deferment, and quite honestly didn't think about them, at all.

After graduation, I found work and made my payments. As the loans began coming out of deferment one by one, I found myself wondering how much debt I had actually racked up. My mom took out every single loan, so I was blissfully unaware of the amount of debt until, stupidly, two days ago. I had assumed that each of my loans had come out of deferment since I graduated college in 2004, and at just over $31,000.00, I was glad of it; however there was one more. As I reached in the mail box Tuesday afternoon, a sense of dread came over me. Clearly, there in the dark reassesses of the mailbox, I saw CITIBANK written on a white business envelope. Statement inside, was clearly marked in black ink on the front. Not wanting to know, but knowing I had to, I quickly ripped open the envelope. Please let this be a privacy statement, I pleaded to myself/God/Allah/Jesus/Buddha/Ganish. Then there it was Your loan for $15,456.25 has just come out of deferment. You owe $230.46 by January 28, 2010.

My first reaction was denial. This can't be, this has to be a mistake! I phoned my mom who seemed astonished as well. After that I pulled my credit report...and it was true, I was the proud owner of massive student loan debt. Okay, I know there is far worse debt out there, but approx. $41,000.00 of debt that I still owe (there was upwards of $50,000.00 spent at this school - some having already been paid) for an undergrad English degree!!??!!??!! So, I've been crying almost non stop for the past two nights. I'm crying for the extra job I'm going to take, for the horse I won't be getting, for the extra money, new house, new car I planned for this summer (I drive a 2003 Neon), for the extra strain on my husband, for the stupid stupid mistake I made as a wasteful unappreciative college student, for the knowledge that I did this to myself, and I deserve and must pay it! I can't help but think of ways to make money quick. Egg Donation - no, besides that I'm too old, short, fair, etc. Sell a Kidney? Yikes! Plasma? No, I'd do that for free. Skip the country? No, I love my home! Work hard, scrimp, budget and save - - - - I suppose that's the solution.

Now, I know how dramatic it all sounds - in a sense writing this is very therapeutic. After all, an additional $200.00 - $300.00 ($436. min payment) a month isn't SO bad. There are so many worse things that could happen - for instance, those poor poor people in Haiti, oh my gosh - I can't even imagine, terrible! Really, I know this post is making me hate-worthy, it makes me look spoiled and whiny, but what good is a blog if I can't open up and write how I'm really feeling? So, anyway, I think I'm mostly just mourning the loss of this horse I was so eagerly anticipating. BUT looking on the bright side - I have: great family, friends, pets, horses at my disposal (not mine), husband, a good job that may be going somewhere, a roof over my head, lots of food :), and 1 VERY EXPENSIVE DEGREE! I suppose it's time for a down turn, I hope it doesn't stay for long.

Long Rambler - Creating Bad Habits

What type of a rider am I? This is a question I've asked myself time and time again, especially since I've gotten a bit older and, a-hem, wiser. Growing up, my mom coached me in the right and wrong things to do as a rider. My mom being the old school cowgirl type, put up with no nonsense. If the horse balked and tried to turn back for the barn they got a smack on the butt and a good wallop on the sides. If they nipped, bit or became pushy, they got scolded harshly. With that said, my mom was able to turn the worst horses into angels within weeks. I fed off of that, and in turn I never had trouble either. I'm aggressive yet soft, at least that's what I always thought.

Fast forward to my adulthood. Riding Morgans with an actual trainer has taught me many things, one of them being that I'm not quite as aggressive or correct as I once thought. To me it's very important to have a connection with a horse that respects me. I feel that I correct when necessary, but lately I've been wondering if I am too soft. My trainer is a NO NONSENSE type of gal. She wants her horses to be perfect at all times while being handled and ridden. She is not abusive and only punishes when necessary, but sometimes I have a hard time deciphering the necessary time for correction. For instance, while preparing for a show, Trainer wants the horses to never place a hoof wrong. If they balk, buck, are veering around or whatever, they get a wack a smack or a bump, sometimes it's backing quickly, other times it's pressure with a spur or a quick slap of a whip - it just depends on the infraction. But I find myself letting little things slide. If the horse wanders off the rail for a moment, I gently guide them back. I know that sounds fine, but that's one of the tiny things I let slide that has evolved into a big problem.

I know I've written before about this issue, but it's one of my greatest worries when it comes to riding. Bobby's bad habit is my fault. I remember the exact moment he decided he could pull a new stunt of his. He skitted into the center of the ring just a bit at a show a few years ago. Instead of me forcing him back to the rail and blowing the class with a visible correction, I allowed him to cut across the ring as though it were my idea. Well, we won that class, but did we win in the long run? Definitely not. Since then, he's gotten progressively worse, he now veers into the center half way through random classes (western riding too). Any corrections usually result in bucking, bee-bopping around, jigging, and/or head tossing. The worst part of it is that I created this monster, and I don't think I'm rider enough to take care of this issue. That in itself, is very humbling.

Trainer and I have gone on and on about this very topic. I was bucked off of Bobby about 3 years ago, and it took a toll on my once very confident self. That small lapse in confidence has made such a depressing difference in my riding, it's really a sad thing. Getting that confidence back is going to be a long road, but I work on it every time I ride by forcing myself to do something I'm not comfortable with. One of them being cantering Bobby when I KNOW he's going to buck. Of course I sit that buck, feel fine and dandy afterward, but the memory of that fall - it gets me so nervous sometimes. I am DiGrEsSiNg.

What I am learning still though, is that if you give a horse an inch, they'll take a mile. No duh, but really, it took me this long to experience that truth - or at least realize it as one. I always just thought Bobby was just a dishonest kind of guy, about work anyway. Bobby is no dummy, he most certainly has my card and I don't know how to get it back. He is the only horse I've ever shown that doesn't respect me, and that's so huge. Horses must respect their riders/owners/handlers/people in order to have a good working relationship with them. Respect is key.

So, I've had my moments of despair over this, certainly. It took a lot out of me at one show in particular. After that show, I thought for sure I'd never show again. It took about 2 months for that show bug to bite again. I'm also learning that every horse, no matter how perfect, has their moments. Bobby can be so good, for so long, and then BAM he's a complete ass - bucking or being a twerp for no apparent reason. On those days, I relax, try to end on a good note and hope for better next time. It still depresses me, but overall, I know they're only horses and I'm only human - nobody's perfect, nobody!

Some More Morgans

Here is some more lovely Morgan eye candy for your viewing pleasure. I wanted to round up examples of the versatility of the breed. Like the Arabian and Saddlebred, Morgans excel in and can do just about everything. Some Morgans are even able to single foot, or gait out.

I had a difficult time finding photos of Morgans reining, team penning, sorting and barrel racing, but I know they do that too. Hope you like!

The End!

Freak Photos Friday

I've decided that I'm going to post a few pictures of non-horse related things. But, I certainly don't think it's super interesting to just post pictures of my hum-drum normal life. Not when there are so many more interesting things to show and see, for that matter. With that said, here we go!


This is me when I was about 3 years old. I was sitting on a slide attached to a swing set in my Grandma's backyard. I remember it was chilly outside and I was so eager to go play on the swing set, that I grabbed the first "warm" items I could find. So, we have a nice flannel shirt - chic! A homemade knit hat - CHECK! and a goofy grin - the best part of all. Sadly, I think it was August - just very early in the morning.


This was Halloween 2009. My friends and I decided to ditch the sexier looks of past Halloweens in favor of a more - - - hideous appearance. I'm on the left with the outrageous 80's outfit, and my friend S is on the right pulling off an "80's Mom" look, complete with the extra padding in the lower abdomen area - he he.



Here's a great example of my Halloween costume - the jeans (Gitano) were bought on E-Bay. Did you know that people pay upwards of $50.00 for vintage 80's jeans? Luckily, these puppies were a steal at under $20.00! Unfortunately though, they were so small that breathing was a chore all night long. The sweater is courtesy of Goodwill - homemade I believe.

Here is the 80's themed New Years Eve for 2009. I'm on the far left with the hot pink shirt. My hubster is on the ground striking a pose, and S and T *friends* are the two extras. It was an interesting night for sure - the boys weren't too keen on the whole 80's theme, and were especially crabby that they had to dress up, but the girls, we loved it!

This is my cat Daisy. I've had her since I graduated High School in 1998. She is very vocal and somewhat crabby, but I love her to death. She's sporting Madigan's (my dog) sweatshirt - on the back it says: "likes heavy petting."

Here's another costume picture from 2009 - this is my husband, B. He is - -- - - -Pee Wee Herman!

Self Explanatory!

And here we have the best of what my gene pool has to offer. My brother - dressed up as Teen Wolf for Halloween a few years ago - pay no mind to the "coca cola" and cigg!

There we have it - I'll see if I can dredge up some more "freak" photos for next Friday :).

Show and Tell ~ Horse Tack Style

Since the weather has been iffy lately, my barn time has been comprised of: de-icing buckets, cleaning stalls, turning out horses, monitoring for lameness in one naughty horse, and other random non-riding chores, I thought I'd post about ---stuff! Since I currently do not own my own horse per-se, I've been collecting horse related items for some time now. Though I do use my horse stuff, quite a bit, I figure that once I actually own a horse and am putting all of my money into he/she, I'll have little money leftover for nice tack, show clothes, etc.

To start, I have been wanting some nice Field Boots for some time now. I have owned several pairs of under $150.00 dress boots that did me fine as a Jr. rider in the show ring, but now that I'm a wee bit older and a wee bit heavier, I thought it was fine time to take the plunge. For Christmas I got a pair of Ariat Heritage II field boots - the saddest part of all is that I ordered the size 8 - regular height, medium calf. When I tried them on, my calves BAREEEELY fit. I had to send them back and get the full calf!!! I'm 5'4 and a half :) and weigh 123 lbs......interesting....it must just be my incredibly buff and muscular physique, right?

Last year for my birthday, I decided to really go out on a limb and make a purchase that I had been only dreaming of for, like, ever! I don't know if anyone here knows who Les Vogt is, heck, all I know is he makes some unbelievably gorgeous western show bits. Anyway, I did something really bizarre and plunked down a PRETTY penny for a gorgeous, fancy, sparkly, lovely western German silver show bit. I have used it once on Bobby - it's got a low port, however the shanks are quite long and are curved just so that it really should only be used on an experienced horse with a very experienced rider. I make little to no contact with that horse with this puppy in his mouth - it's really just for looks.

Next on my list are the saddles: I've never had a new show saddle, but it doesn't bother me. In fact, there are so many amazing used show saddles out there, they look awesome, and are sold for a fraction of the price of the new ones. My current saddle is just okay - it's a Circle Y Equitation Saddle that is circa 1995. I also have a Circle Y show bridle that I got for my birthday a few years ago, too.

This isn't my saddle, I own the exact saddle sans the bridle and breast collar.

My hunt saddle is an even older Campbell (all purpose) that my mom bought from a tack sale when I was about 14 years old. When it was purchased it had that lighter brown color on the knee rolls as well as underneath the seat. It also had lighter colored piping along the seat. I have since dyed the entire thing to a sensible dark brown! It's a comfortable enough saddle, and the leather is still soft and supple. It was purchased for $150.00 and is still going strong, so all in all, a very good buy!

In the Fall of 2009, I searched E-Bay for weeks until I finally bit the bullet and bid (and won) a brand new Courbette - black, weymouth, lightly padded HORSE sized bridle for $70.00 (retails for over $300.00). Never mind that most Morgan Horses are shown in a dark brown bridle in a Cob size!

So, you'd think that my searches would be over for now, but nooooo - you see, for years I've owned a pair of Miller's Warm Toes winter riding boots. I love them, truly I do! Unfortunately though, last Sunday a cold bite of ice and snow snuck into my right heel as I trudged out into the pasture to chase some reluctant horses up to the barn. I felt a sense of pure dread as I lifted my foot up to investigate, and sure enough, the sole *or soul :(* was lifting up from the actual boot itself. My poor old boots may have finally met their demise. So of course, now I'm in the market for a pair of winter riding boots. Oh how I wish Millers still were around!

I don't really know why I've been so eager to spend my money on horse and riding stuff. I haven't owned my own horse for 10 years now. Never the less, I am the proud owner of the above mentioned stuff plus much more that's not worth mentioning (saddle pads, cinches, girths, show clothing (in saddle seat, western and hunter fashions), spurs, assortments of bits, reins, bridles, blankets, sheets, coolers, brushes, lotions, sprays, shampoos, conditioners, halters, leads, surcingles, wraps, crops, lunge lines, side reins, martingales, picks, ointments, etc.). Oh my gosh, I'm a Horse Hoarder sans a horse - I've really got a problem!!!! Really though, I know that when that special horse comes along, it will have all been worth it. Besides my husband is already very accustomed to my habitual horse spending. He might think I'm a little crazy now, but he'll see the methods to my madness once we have a horse - or 30 ;)

I'd love to see your tack assortment too. Are you a hoarder of horse stuff? I'm pretty sure I'm not completely alone on this one.